Learn to Run a Trauma- and Violence-Informed (TVI) Intake Meeting With an Employee Experiencing IPV

Day 6 of the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence

Today is Day 6 in my 16 tips in 16 days series — practical, legally grounded guidance to help employers build functioning domestic and intimate partner violence programs.

If you missed earlier posts, you can go back to Day 1 here.

The First Meeting Matters — A Lot

For many survivors, coming forward at work is one of the most vulnerable decisions they will ever make.

Unfortunately, many report that once they disclose, the employer’s first response is something like:

“How much danger are the rest of us in?”

And in that moment, trust breaks.

Once trust is lost, disclosures shrink, resistance increases, and the workplace loses the opportunity to support both the employee and its safety obligations.

A trauma- and violence-informed (TVI) intake meeting prevents that outcome.

Before You Gather Information — Build Safety

A strong intake meeting sets the tone for the entire accommodation, safety planning, and support process.

Here’s a framework that supports that:

1. Validate the Complexity of Coming Forward

This may have taken tremendous courage — or it may have happened because the situation escalated publicly and they had no choice.

Either way, they are likely navigating:

• Fear of judgment

• Fear of job consequences

• Shame

• Confusion

• Loss of control

2. Create Emotional Safety

Make the employee feel welcome. A safe conversation includes:

• A respectful tone

• Nonjudgmental language

• Recognition of the individual's unique structural violence risk profile

• Awareness that IPV may overlap with substance use, coercion, or trauma

A simple acknowledgment like:

“I know coming forward isn’t easy, but I'm glad you did. You are welcome here, and you don't have to worry about judgment from me or the company.”

goes further than most people realize.

3. Promote Real Choice and Transparency

Survivors have had control taken from them — sometimes for years.

So the intake conversation should avoid replicating that dynamic.

Explain:

• What the process will look like

• What the employee can expect

• Where they will have decision-making power

• That choices presented will always be realistic

A cautionary example:

A 2017 arbitration case found an employer referred a rural employee without transportation to a counselling program the next city over that would have taken hours out of her day— effectively making support impossible.

Good intentions don’t matter if the solution isn’t usable.

4. Acknowledge and Build on Strengths

Survivors often arrive feeling ashamed, depleted, or overwhelmed.

But the truth is:

if they are sitting in front of you, they’ve already survived an extraordinary amount.

Strengths may include:

• Safety strategies they’ve already used

• Problem-solving skills

• Persistence

• Parenting under stress

• The ability to work despite ongoing harm

A TVI response recognizes that they are not a liability — they already have a solid foundation of strengths to build a solution on.

Once Trust Exists — Then You Proceed to Risk Assessment

Tomorrow’s post will walk through how to do that safely and legally.

But remember this:

If the intake meeting reinforces fear or stigma, the employee won’t disclose what you need to know — and your legal obligations still remain.

Connection first. Compliance second.

That’s how workplace programs succeed.

If You're Looking for Training on Conducting a TVI Intake Meeting, I Can Help

I’m an employment lawyer working with organizations to build IPV and domestic violence strategies grounded in law, safety, and TVI practice.

There are excellent free tools available at dvatwork.ca, and if you're ready for hands-on support — from drafting policies to designing training and intake procedures — I can partner with you to build a program that works. Please reach out.